Animals of the Ocean, in Particular the Giant Squid
Doris Haggis-on-Whey Benny Haggis-on-Whey
Mcsweeney's Literary Arts Fund
Here is the third installment in a series of reference books, all written by Dr. and Mr. Doris Haggis-on-Whey, a team of highly energized and deeply focused scientists with over sixty-seven combined years of experience at their command, including six months spent lifting awkwardly-sized boxes.
Animals of the Ocean advances many heretofore unexplored discoveries and opinions, including squid dating dos and don'ts, why squid are not at all able to watch television in black and white, the ways in which people who don't know any better might think fish are not animals, the long-term effects of salt water on musical theater, and also the adventure of Gunther.
Animals of the Ocean, in Particular the Giant Squid comes with a foil-stamped and leather-inspired cover. Its pages are full color and illustrated without reserve. This book does not contain a warning label, but if it did, it would advise readers to enjoy its pages only in small and furtive doses, such as while waiting your turn at tetherball.