How to Solve Conundrums
Containing All the Leading Conundrums of the Day, Amusing Riddles, Curious Catches and Witty Sayings
Anonymous
9781465593122
188 pages
Library of Alexandria
Overview
What games are most played by soldiers? Hazard and picket! How do you spell “blind pig” in two letters? P G—pig without an I! Why is Great Britain like Palestine? Because it’s the Holy Land (whole island). What is the difference between the earth and the sea? One is dirty, the other tidy. Why was Blackstone like an Irish vegetable? Because he was a common tatur. What part of your ear would be the most essential for a martial band? The drum. High-toned—a church bell. When is a soldier like a carpenter? When he is going to drill. When does a farmer have the best opportunity of overlooking his pigs? When he has a sty in his eye! Why is the letter K like a pig’s tail? Because it’s at the end of pork! Why is a sporting clergyman like a soldier who runs from battle? Because he departs from his sphere of action. If a Colt’s pistol has six barrels, how many ought a horse pistol to have? Give it up. If a bee could stand on its hind legs, what blessing would it invoke? A bee-attitude! What prevents a running river running right away? Why, it’s tied up! What was the color of the wind and waves in a storm? The wind blue—the waves rose. A modern spinning-wheel—the bicycle. How can you, by changing the pronunciation of a word only, turn mirth into crime? By making man’s laughter man-slaughter! Why are convicts like old maids going to be married? Because they go off in transports! State the difference between a grocer selling a pound of sugar, and an apothecary’s boy with a pestle and mortar? One weighs a pound, the other pounds away. Why is a rumseller’s trade a profitable one to follow? Because, by conducting it with good spirits, he has more bargains than most others, and all his drafts (draughts) are paid. Why are two young ladies kissing each other an emblem of Christianity? Because they are doing unto each other as they would men should do unto them!
