Poems, Ballads and Parodies
Anonymous
9781465533067
pages
Library of Alexandria
Overview
THE PISSING DOG A farmer’s dog came into town, His Christian name was Tige; His mOther showed her pedigree, It was noblesse oblige. And as he trotted down the street, It was wonderful to see Him piss against each corner, And Diss against each tree. He pissed against each gateway, And pissed against each post; For pissing was his specialty, And pissing was his boast. The city dogs looked on amazed, In growing helpless rage; To see a simple country dog, The pisser of his age. [9] Some thought that he a king might be, Of legend long forgot; Whose asshole shone like burnished gold, And smelled like berganot. Then each one smelled him critically, They smelled him two by two; But the country dog in high disdain, Stood still until they were through. Then just to show his mettle, That he did not care a damn, He trotted to a grocery store, And pissed upon a ham. He pissed upon a child’s bare leg, He pissed upon the floor; Till the grocer with a bull’s-eye kick, Sent him pissing through the door. Behind him all the city dogs Lined up with instinct true, To start a pissing carnival, And see the stranger through. [10] They showed him every pissing place They had about the town, And started in with many a wink To piss the stranger down, They sent for champion pissers In training and condition, Who sometimes did a pissing stunt, Or pissed for exhibition. But Tige was pissing merrily, With hind leg hoisted high; When most were hoisting legs in bluff, But pissing mighty dry, Then Tige sought out new pissing ground, By piles of scrap and rust; Till even the boldest pissers there Pissed a little spurt of dust. Then followed free hand pissing, With fancy flirts and flings, Like double drop and gimlet twist, And all those graceful things* [11] So on and on went the pissing dog, With shining amber rill, Till the boldest pisser of them all Was pissed to a dead standstill. But never a wink gave the country dog, Nor bark, nor growl, nor grin; But pissed his journey out of town As he came pissing in, The city dogs, in latin phrase, Lost most of their conceitus; They never dreamed until this day, That Tige had diabetes. I love you much, I love you mighty, I love my pajamas Beside your nighty. Now don't get excited, And don't be misled, I mean on the clothes-line And not in bed. [12] FROM HEAVEN TO. HELL HEAVEN 'Twas a.summer’s night, 'Neath the moon’s soft light, A bed all draped in yellow. Two rosy lips, Two snow-white tits. Oh! What a lucky fellow. HELL Nine days have passed. He heaves a sigh, It is a sigh of sorrow. Two pimples pink Are on his dink, And there may be more tomorrow. [13
