Pauline, the Prima Donna; Or Memoirs of an Opera Singer
Anonymous
9781465533203
pages
Library of Alexandria
Overview
My dear friend: It gives me great pleasure to inform you that I have received your letter and am happy to know that you sometimes think of me. I am delighted, too, to know you are enjoying such splendid health. Really, my dear, I thought you had quite forgotten me after all these years, but I see you haven't, and I am glad. Yes, I am very happy and contented, and I have retired from professional life. I intend to devote the remainder of my days to travel and… well, you know my great weakness. It is strange that you should ask me to write my memoirs just when I was about to write them for myself, and now I believe I shall do so. And I hope you will enjoy reading these pages as fully as I have enjoyed them in the flesh. Well, where shall I start? At the very beginning, I suppose-all careers have a beginning somewhere, you know. Up to and including my eighteenth birthday there is precious little to tell, so I shall skip over that; it has nothing to do with this tale and would-I dare-say-be rather tiresome. I knew nothing of love, except, of course, the love one had from a parent, and the pets I had. So I can think of no one thing which might be called responsible for the strange and delightful life I have led. To sum up the whole thing, I guess I was born for love! How could it be otherwise when it has been the one ruling passion of my whole life? Love! Yes, that was it, and believe me, I have had my share. There are very few things concerning my early life which I think would be of interest here. I was an only child. We lived in a pretty little home, and in my childish way I was happy. I never had to attend school like the other children. Father provided a private tutor, and an ugly old witch she was, too. She was very strict with me, and I can well remember how she used to scold me when I romped about the gardens with my pet poodle, telling me it was vulgar to show one’s legs; nor could I visit with the other children who passed our home. It was this very strictness as much as anything else, perhaps, which led my active mind into other and stranger channels. I guess she was what we call today a prude and I believe she disliked herself. So you see, I was kept in close confinement, as it were. But, with all her faults, she was a very learned person, and I have many, many times profited by her teachings. Mother was very kind to me, and I always had the things I craved. Father earned a wonderful living for us; he was a skilled mechanic, inventing many optical items used to this day, and for which he received a great deal of money. When I received a scolding from my teacher, I would run to Mother for soothing and kindness, to say nothing of her kisses. But she had implicit faith in my tutor, telling me I must mind her as she knew best. I must tell you of a little incident concerning this strange woman. At the far end of the gardens there was a tiny lake, and one day I asked permission to wade in it. But my tutor was horrified! The very idea was scandalous! I suppose I am no different than anyone else; had she allowed me this simple pleasure, I am sure nothing would have come of it, and what happened as a result of what I did wouldn't have happened at all. Having been deprived of the pleasure, I promised myself that, unknown to her, I would do that very thing! The next afternoon I watched for my chance. On the pretence of taking my poodle for a walk, I slipped away and ran to the pond. It seems to be a human trait to lust for that which is denied us. Whether that is true or not I do not know; I do know, however, that I yearned for that pond as I had never yearned for anything else in my life. The poodle, nearing the pond and thinking it quite natural, ran into the water. Standing there watching him splash about made me all the more eager to partake of this pleasure, and the more I watched him the greater the longing became. It’s a strange thing that such a simple thing can lay the groundwork for one’s whole career, isn't it? Yet, such was the case. Had I been allowed to wade at the time I asked my tutor, everything would have passed as before; now, standing there knowing I was contemplating something forbidden made the desire all the more pronounced! I had never been in the water, and as I stood there contemplating the pleasure my poodle was having, I was taken with the idea that I, too, would like to splash about in it. Making sure no one was about, I stripped off my slippers and stockings, and holding up my already short skirt, I waded in. The water felt delightful on my feet and ankles, and for minutes I stood there. I wanted to go in deeper, but, as I have said, I had never been in such a large body of water and the thought frightened me. The next day, however, I tried it again, and this time I mustered my courage and went in to the bend of my knees. It was wonderful! I did this twice more before I was detected by my ugly tutor who ran to Mother with the startling news that I had wilfully disobeyed her! Again I cried, and again Mother consoled me and made me promise to always obey my tutor. A week passed, but my desire to wade was as strong as before. It was Sunday. Tutor had left for the day. Father, too, was away, and Mother was busy about the house. Knowing I would never have such a favourable chance again, I raced for the pond! Naturally, I had gotten over being timid, and this time I was quite daring! Knee-deep no longer interested me. Besides, there was something delightfully naughty about the feel of the water on my legs! What it was I didn't know, of course; I knew only that it was the most wonderful sensation I had ever felt, and the deeper I went, the greater the sensation! I went deeper and deeper. Then, to my dismay, I found the lace at the bottom of my drawers was stiff and soaked, and that the legs were wet halfway up! I was frightened! I knew Mother would be furious if she discovered this, but my desire for the feel of the water was overwhelming. I hurried up the bank and removed the offensive garments, and after spreading them to dry, I hurried back into the pond! Free, now, of the troublesome things, I waded out, and this time the water lapped at my cunt! Oh, what a thrill it was! I mention all this to show you that in my innocence I knew nothing of myself. I knew nothing of the thrills one might enjoy through the medium of one’s cunt. So, of course, I didn't know that I was experiencing that first spark of young womanhood which comes to all girls. All that I was interested in was the fact that it felt so nice I thought I was in heaven! The heavenly feeling seemed to centre deep between my thighs. Wondering what it could be, I put my fingers there, only to find the strange sensations increased, for my fingers had come in contact with that tiny sentinel which guards the abode of bliss and which, until that moment, I never knew I had. It was, as you may have guessed, my clitoris, that little jewel of an organ that was to play such an important part in my life in the years to follow! Do you remember, my dear, how you used to love lying with your face between my legs? And how you delighted in kissing and tenderly sucking that tiny red tongue, as you called it? Well, it was that same tiny morsel I found that day as I stood hip-deep in our little pond. So, do you realize now what an important part my ugly tutor played in my later life? I was frightened as well as happy, and as I dried my dress before returning home, I promised myself many more wading parties in that little pond. You see, I thought the water was responsible for those strange and heavenly sensations I had experienced. And that, dear friend, was the very beginning of a life of utmost pleasure. Then came a change in my life, and I found myself temporarily deprived of the pleasure of wading. It’s just as well-I might have become an addict to that dreadful practice known as masturbation! About this time, it was discovered I had a most unusual voice. I had been singing in Sunday school, and our music teacher often spoke of the wonderful future in store for me. I accepted these compliments gracefully, and I continued to attend to my music. Then one day my choirmaster visited our home and spoke for some time with Mother. I learned that he had discussed with her the unusual quality of my voice. Mother spoke with Father about it, and it was decided that I should receive some formal training. Then followed four months of intensive study. I practiced faithfully and soon it was learned that my voice was far beyond anything my instructors had even conceived. It was suggested that I be sent away where I might study under masters, and thus develop what they termed my good fortune. But Mother and Father refused to listen to this. They did, however, consent to hire a private music teacher. As this change necessitated the removal of my other tutor, I was overjoyed. I expected another old witch, of course, but anyone would have been preferable. I praised the good Lord when she finally packed her belongings and left. For a few weeks, I was quite alone. I had no tutor, my only studies being that of music. I attended Sunday school daily. Also, I had plenty of time to run about the gardens, and you may rest assured the little pond came in for its share of attention. I bathed there every day. Sometimes in complete nakedness, at others partly so, but always my little cunt came in for its share of fondling. As the days slipped by, I began to take notice of my breasts. They grew larger and firmer and rounder, and as my fingers caressed them a thrill swept over me. I noticed, too, that my legs seemed rounder and more firm. And there was something else. I noticed that the hairs about my cunt grew darker and darker, and thicker and thicker. I found also that I experienced more and more thrills and that they became more and more pronounced just before and just after my sickness. I didn't know what caused this, but I wasn't to be left long in the dark, as you shall see. One afternoon about this time, Mother informed me that she was expecting guests. It seemed the guests were her niece and the niece’s husband-to-be, and since they had long promised to visit us, they took it upon themselves to do so before their marriage. The following day they arrived, bag and baggage. Since these two young people were to furnish a spectacle that prompted and hurried me upon my career, it is no more than right that I describe them here. The girl was about twenty and very pretty. She was shapely too, and her complexion was superb; all in all, one might sum her up as beautiful. Meeting such a girl in later years, I would have promptly put her down as one literally dying to be fucked. Five years later, when I became a lover of women’s charms, I invariably chose just such a girl, for the simple reason that she was animate and would comply, willingly, with my every request. Her lover was equally good looking. Five feet eleven, very handsome, slightly dark with wonderful eyes, I fell quite in love with him. They seemed devoted to each other and were seldom out of each other’s sight. Now, it must be remembered that I was just approaching young womanhood-that period in a girl’s life where so little is required to ignite the spark of passion. I remember that when I came near this man I would blush, and hot flashes came over me, thrilling me to the core. Both were very nice to me, and as I recall it now, this man often cast longing glances at me. Had his future wife not been present there is no telling what might have happened, as I am sure I would have welcomed him to my arms. Life is a strange thing. A thief is forever finding something to steal, a drunkard is forever being offered wine, and so it was with me. I have already said I believed I was made for love. I repeat it now. It was as though temptation was forever being thrown in my path. Let me explain. A day or two after their arrival, I had taken my poodle and started off for a walk. At the far end of the gardens, and not far from the pond, there was a little summerhouse. As I neared this, I heard someone laugh and recognized the voice as that of the bride-to-be. My poodle had bounded off to his favorite swimming place thinking, of course, that I would follow; but another idea popped into my mind. Why not creep up and frighten them
