Merry Go Down:A Gallery of Gorgeous Drunkards Through the Ages
A Gallery of Gorgeous Drunkards Through the Ages
Anonymous
9781465533029
pages
Library of Alexandria
Overview
This book of topers was made by topers for topers ES&^w t0 rea^« Not since that incomparable Encomium K^jf^S) of Ebriety was launched, two centuries ago, upon 1*h3k^£ an England more worthy than ours to receive it, has toping been treated as an objective and inescapable fact, without any moral implications whatever. We are entirely unconcerned with morality. This book is for the delight of the converted : to the unconverted it is as likely to prove an Awful Warning as an Incitement to Carouse. Our object being to amuse, we could wish, with the immortal Mr. Keith, that the English still possessed a shred of the old sense of humour which Puritanism, and dyspepsia, and newspaper-reading, and tea-drinking have nearly extinguished. It ought to be revived afresh. Noth-ing like a good drunkard for that purpose. As a laughter-provoking device it is cheaper and more effective than any pantomime yet invented;and none the worse, surely, for being a little old-fashioned ? Alas, that such a fashion should ever grow old 1 But in spite of all the efforts of our rulers to make us realise that THE OLD DAYS OF THE RIGHT OF EVERY MAN TO DO AS HE LIKES WITH HIS OWN ARE A RELIC OF THE EIGH-TEENTH AND NINETEENTH CENTURIES AND WILL NOT WORK in the twentieth, there are still certain stalwarts (as has been most abundantly proved by some of our acquain-tance) who temulently emulate the feats of valiance des-cribed in these pages, which we fling, symbolically, with the worst will in the world, full in the face of every advocate of Prohibition. RAB NOOLAS IN THE BEGINNING ND Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard : and he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent. And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without. And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father;and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father’s nakedness. And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him. And he said, Cursed be Canaan, a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren. [Genesis ix., 20.] AND LOT WENT UP ND Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar : and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters. And the first born said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth : Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve the seed of our father. And they made their father drink wine that night : and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father;and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose. And it came to pass on the morrow that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesterday with my father : let us make him drink wine this night also;and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. And they made their father drink wine that night also : and the younger arose, and lay with him;and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose. Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their *atner' [Genesis xix., 30.] AN OBSERVATION ON BEER-DRINKERS S|||£^§§ RISTOTLE says, in his book on Drunkenness, 2jfTthey who have drunk beer, which they call flvov Swi||?w fall on their backs. For he says, there is a V&&&33&3 peculiarity in the effects of the drink made from barley, which they call ttivov, for they who get drunk on other intoxicating liquors fall on all parts of their body;they fall on the left side, on the right side, on their faces, and on their backs. But it is only those who get drunk on beer who fall on their backs, and lie with their faces upwards. [aristotle. Fragment quoted by Athenaeus.] t 3 HOLY HEATE T is supposed that Solon and Arcesilaus were good drinkers : and Cato was taxed for drunkennes: but whosoeuer reprocheth him in this sort, shall rather proue that this crime of drunkennesse is an honest thing, then that Cato behaued himselfe dis-honestlie. But neither is it to be done often, lest the mind should contract some euell custome, although at sometimes a man ought to giue him liberty, and present some meanes of delight, and lay aside for a while the ouer seuere and sober maner of life. For if we giue credite to the Greeke Poet: Its sometimes pleasure to be mad and foolish. Or Plato : He that is in his right wits, looseth his labour to goe and knocke at the gate of the Muses, or Aristotle : There was neuer any great wit that had not some spice of folly;if the minde bee not stirred, and as it were mounted above it selfe, hee can speake nothing highly, nor aboue others. After hee hath contemned vulgar and ordinary things, and that a holy heate hath raised him aboue ordinary, then beginneth he to sing with a mortall mouth, I know not what that is more then humane. As long as hee is in him-selfe, hee can attaine to nothing that is hie and difficult. Hee must desist from his usuall custome, and rowse himselfe, and bite the bridle betwixt his teeth, and beare away him that gouerneth him, and carrie him thither whether of himselfe hee was affraide to ascend. [seneca. De tranquillitate animi. Trans, Thomas Lodge > 1614.] THE SYMPOSIUM UDDENLY they heard a loud knocking at the door of the vestibule, and a clamour as of revellers, attended by a flute-player. Go, boy, said Agathon, and see who is there : if they are any of our friends, call them in;if not, say that we have already done drinking. A minute afterwards, they heard the voice of Alcibiades in the vestibule excessively drunk and roaring out : Where is Agathon ? Lead me to Agathon ! The flute-player, and some of his companions then led him in, and placed him against the door-post, crowned with a thick crown of ivy and violets, and having a quantity of fillets on his head. My friends, he cried out, hail ! I am excessively drunk already, but I'll drink with you, if you will. If not, we will go away after having crowned Agathon, for which purpose I came. I assure you that I could not come yester-day, but I am now here with these fillets round my temples, that from my own head I may crown him who, with your leave, is the most beautiful and wisest of men. Are you laughing at me because I am drunk ? Ay, I know what I say is true, whether you laugh or not. But tell me at once whether I shall come in, or no. Will you drink with me ? Agathon and the whole party desired him to come in, and recline among them;so he came in, led by his com-panions. He then unbound his fillets that he might crown Agathon, and though Socrates was just before his eyes, he did not see him, but sat down by Agathon, between Socrates and him, for Socrates moved out of the way to make room for him. When he sat down, he embraced Agathon and crowned him, and Agathon desired the slaves to untie his sandals, that he might make a third, and recline on the same couch. By all means, said Alcibiades, but what third com-panion have we here ? And at the same time turning round and seeing Socrates, he leaped up and cried out:— 4 5 O Hercules ! what have we here ? You, Socrates, lying in ambush for me wherever I go ! and meeting me just as you always do when I least expected to see you !… Saying this, he took the fillets, and having bound the head of Socrates, and again having reclined, said : Come, my friends, you seem to be sober enough. You must not flinch, but drink, for that was your agreement with me before I came in. I choose as president, until you have drunk enough—myself. Come, Agathon, if you have got a great goblet, fetch it out. But no matter, the wine-cooler will do;bring it, boy ! [plato : Symposium. Translated by Shelley.] B
