Men Only:A Further Collection of Bawdy Ballads and Lusty Literature Calculated to Warm the Cockles of Manly Hearts and Bring a Blush to the Cheeks of Daring Damsels!
A Further Collection of Bawdy Ballads and Lusty Literature Calculated to Warm the Cockles of Manly Hearts and Bring a Blush to the Cheeks of Daring Damsels!
Anonymous
9781465532657
pages
Library of Alexandria
Overview
So skin Until the year 1933-1934 the Down With Sweet Adeline movement made very little headway, and the cry of To the gallows with Frankie and Johnniel fell on deaf ears. I subscribed to these radical movements in American folk music because 1 happen to be one of those large men who mope at parties until some one says: Here’s goo' ol' Bill. Bill, ol* man. howzzabou' li'l song, eh? ere'z piano. Howzzabou' Sweet Adeline? Night after night 1 played and sang Frankie and Jobnnie, and recited the strange adventure of the King of France in ursurping the throne of the bastard King of England, and depicted the feat of a young woman who happened to be on the American shore when Christopher Columbo’s crew landed. My life began to seem barren and futile. Came the night of the famous Dutch Treat Show in 1933. Came, spe-cifically, a number by Mr. Ogden Nash entitled Pedigree containing the Quartet for Prosperous Bastards. I knew then that tbe empty years had not been in vain, and that the Hoover Thirty-Year Slump was serving at least one good purpose. It had resulted in a genuine and authentic contribu-tion to American folk song. A lyrical dramatization of the fact that president of your local National Bank was the result of the infatuation of the madam of a house of ill repute with the gentleman who played piano in her insti-tution, this song was bound to warm the so-called cockles of the hearts of all of us depositors. On many nights when it has seemed a little obscene to consume spirt-uous refreshment and to lift one’s froggy voice in song, what with the thought of the gold standard. 10 million unemployed and one’s bank balance, this fierce and forthright anthem of Mr. Nash’s has come to the rescue of our declining spirits. It is the desperately ironic and comic theme song of the de-pression. Such a creation should never have remained the private property of a convivial few. I am glad that it is now made available to the general body of rooked depositors. May it bring them solace and bitter laughterl Four Prominent So and Sbs I'm an autocratic figure in these democratic states. I'm a dandy demonstration of hereditary traits. As the children of the haker Bake the msot delicious hreads, As the sons of Casanova fill the most exclusive heds, As the Barrymores the Roosevelts, and Others 1 could name Inherited the talents that perpetuate their fame, My position in the structure of society I owe To the qualities my parents bequeathed me long ago. My pappy was a gentleman, and musical, to hoot, He used to play piano in a house of ill repute. The madam was a lady, and a credit to her cult, SKe enjoyed my pappy’s playing, and I was the result! So my mammy and my pappy are the ones 1 have to thank That I'm Chairman of the Board of the National Country Bank! Chorus: Oh, our parents forgot to get married, Oh, our parents forgot to get wed. Did a wedding hell chime? It was always a time When our parents were somewhere in bed, Tra la la la, they were somewhere in bed. Oh, thanks to our kind loving parents, We are kings in the land of the free*— Your banker, your broker, your Washington jokers-Four prominent bastards are we, tra la la la Four prominent bastards are we. In a cozy little farmhouse in a cozy little dell A dear old-fashioned farmer and his daughter used to dwell. She was pretty, she was charming, she was tender, she was mild, And her sympathy was such that she was frequently with ckld. The year her hospitality attained a record high She became the happy mammy of an infant, which was 1. ] Whenever she was gloomy I could always make her grin j By childishly inquiring who my pappy could have been. J The hired man was favored by the girls in mammy’s set And a traveling man from Scranton was an even money bet. s But such were Mammy’s motives, and such was her allure. That even Roger Babson wasn't altogether sure. Well, 1 took my Mammy’s morals and 1 took my pappy’s crust And 1 grew to be a founder of a big Investment Trust. Chorus: Oh, our parents forgot to get married, Oh, our parents forgot to get wed. Did a wedding bell chime? It was always a time When our parents were somewhere in bed, Tra la la la, they were somewhere in bed. Oh, thanks to our kind loving parents. We are kings in the land of the free*— Your banker, your broker, your Washington joker— Four prominent bastards are we, tra la la la Four prominent bastards are we. On a cozy little chain gang on a dusty Southern road My late lamented daddy had his permanent ahode. Now some were there for stealing, but daddy’s only fault Was an overwhelming weakness for criminal assault. His philosophy was simple, and free of moral tape: Seduction is for sissies, but a he-man wants his rape. Daddy’s total list of victims was embarassingly rich. And though one of them was mammy, he couldn't tell me which. Well, I didn't go to college, but I got me a degree; 1 reckon I'm the model of a perfect S.O.B.; I'm a debit to my country but a credit to my dad. The most expensive senator the nation ever had; 1 remember daddy’s warning that raping is a crime Unless you rape the voters a million at a time. Chorus: Oh, our parents forgot to get married. Oh. our parents forgot to get wed. Did a wedding bell chime? It was always a time When our parents were somewhere in bed, Tra la la la, they were somewhere in bed. Oh, thanks to our kind loving parents, We are kings in the land of the free— Your banker, your broker, your Washington jokers-Four prominent bastards are we. tra la la la Four prominent bastards are we
